Friday, January 24, 2014

when harry met satchel

VOGUE copyright Conde Nast
© 2014
© 2014 KM Fikes
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from KM Fikes is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KM Fikes & with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  No excerpt or link may be used for monetary compensation. 
© Columbia Pictures
Meg Ryan & Billy Crystal in Rob Weiner's film of Norah Ephron's script, When Harry Met Sally, 1989

Expecting Satchel Paige?  

harry /ˈharē/ - to sack or pillage

Pleased to present this follow-up post to both Annie's Haul and chartRUSE™:

Liberty.  Oft as supple as leather.  How one prefers the freedom of hands free to roam the world.  To the chagrin of the chiropractical, one finds a shoulder bag with handle tightly nestled grants all ten digits tactile access.  Alas, the below pre-order's configuration did not intend to venture past the elbow.  Requesting a longer strap to accommodate my upper-arm aim was warmly received by the affable owner of QUEORK, Amanda Dailey.  She complied - with a quickness.  Nevadaless, her designer took temperamental creative license and proceeded to construct a Quirkin handle that she/he deemed mo' 'apropos'.  Now, as Agency o' the Individual - at any cost - is this blogger's motto, I could only chuckle at this act of runway resistance.  The autonomous 'choice' of sewing a smaller handle may have come at my ergonomic expense - and the actual purchase.  Apologetic, Ms. Dailey refunded me forthwith.  Still, one has to admire the artisan.  Power to the worker.  She/he may have a certain ethos: the customer is not always right in assuming authority ova their own aesthetic.

copyright image
Due to her graceful 'handling' of the matter, Ms. Dailey's reputation escaped even a modicum of injury.  One admires that she sources the manufacturing of her wares to those most adamant in assertion of their own taste.  Pocketbook n' Soup Nazis unite

This French Quarter business is currently taking New York by a stylish storm named neither Katrina nor Sandy.  Would that I could peep her inventory of cork couture - live.  One day, indeed.

The above episode occurred ions ago in November, 2013.  Old baggage.  New Year. 

One can only hope a random ebay search of "cork handbag" displayed no Dailey disloyalty.  Her inventory eva entices.  Took balls to craft the Quirkin, a cork parody of the Birkin.  And by 'Ball'?  One props n' daps Lucille, stompin' grapes in wine country - as much as the renewable harvesting of oak trees for their regenerative cork.  

The art o' web inquiry has taken Curiosity from mere, fleeting thought to immediately gratified exercise.  What hath the tech revolution wrought upon Curiosity's mortality rate for pussy kitties?  One's duel question marks - framing the notion of reincarnation - loom large.  Note the 'hook' of the punctuation family; some risks may meet reward.  Curiosity may prove lethal to pussy kitties but mercifully, felines are ostensibly bequeathed nine rounds in the cosmic ring of It All.


The QUEORK site's blog is quite informative in its warning of cork quality by 'lesser' conscious manufacturing.  With tutorial in mind, one scrolled the ebay page with a discerning eye.  Upon locating the compellingly discounted ZILLA listing, one googled for any evidence of the brand's sourcing of sound cork product.  Silvia Pichler, another savvy XX chromo enterprise owner, is an innovative architect creating commendable accessories with unique fabrications in the Italian market.  From the "About" page on the main ZILLA site:

"Bags conceived as moving structures, mobile homes for woman handcrafted in Italy."
© ZILLA ad campaign
What is appreciated most about Ms. Pichler's Spring/Summer 2011 design is its reinvention of a standard made suddenly fashion forward.  All hail motion!  The model here is referenced as the 'Granny' bag for its familiar bulbous shape associated with a done-been-gone era.  Yore, yo.  A carpetbag in othawise retirement, artfully draped - in cork, at that - becomes alluringly avante-garde.  H2Omelorotica™ yesterdecade burlesque - with cork or sponge pasties.  One's vegan wallet/ hybrid keys/ biodegradable prophylactic/ solar-charged cell phone/ certified organic breath mint/ eco mineral lip tint - all wrapped in swaddlin' cork - seems less titillating by way of Whore's punany-ed pocket and more marsupial, in nature, via Madonna 

Even the faintest allusion to socio Biblical XY chromo chaos calls for that ol' gender-bend.  Alas Alleluia...'least a hint.  Raisin' one's right pinky to swear upon her dissolved mint and smeared tint, let us embark upon a G-spot bender.  'Tis out of in order:

© 2014 KM Fikes
ZILLA 'Granny' XL bag with Brooks Brothers silk necktie decked in watermelon motif

A solo XY chromo H2O necktie is mo' than enuf.  One can almost sense the reading of this very line to the reader's nod in the affirmative.  Gentlesoulfolk, how wise thou'rt.  Fo'sooth, successful accessorizing is knowing the art of the parfait edit.  Ms. Dailey's designer may too agree - I dare conjecture.  All, howeva, is a bejeweled journey.  According to Hermès, maker of the über upper echelon-ed Birkin, the technical name for an accent scarf tied upon one's pocketbook is "twilly".  Might that moniker be suggestive of avoidance of the application twice - say, upon da flip side?  'Twill be too much.  The first, few swigs swings of one's wine-topper, bold as dry, pucker-lipped purse still feels a wee bit surreal to o'erthink the obvious:  The otha handle should remain as exposed as its stripped tree trunk or as bare as uncarved, hard knocked melon.  

With da flip side attired in perpetual Casual Friday, let us then entertain a neutered nouveau...or is that chartRUSE collar, masculine retro...Betta yet?  POSTcloset conceptualization.  Enter stage left?  The neoclassic dandy and his choice of metrosexual 'goods'.

          she-he frou-frou? POSTandrogyny.

Imagine thy blogger center stage upon theatrical absurdity.  She is weaved Pfeiffer blonde, in Harvard crimson-melon velvet, with high slit and low décolletée.  She sings sultry atop piano.  For  accompaniment?  Da Fabulous Birkin Boys:

               Kanye West                                                                     Marc Jacobs

                           Pharrell                                         *

 All images - albeit paparazzi - copywritten

One holds but one simple as humble hope as she 'carries on':  May one's satirical tote fail miserably to be mistaken for the egregiously testerone-ed leather or suede that cork nigh approximates albeit trumps texturally.  It was not purchased with any goal, whatsoeva, of convincing replication of any reptilian nor bovine flesh.  Says a peculiar affinity for leather-bound knots a la Katherine Kwei.  Perchance, yon ChartRUSE™ 'trade' is yet anotha process - as dichotomous as H2Omeloncholy and as derelict in socio evolutionary duty as POSTnessity.

One considers her new cork confection a post-souvenir along one's continued, surrealist-sustainable, ChartRUSE sojourn.  Measuring in inches, 16 by 15 by 4, the ZILLA's generous proportions will accommodate as well as prompt a spontaneous trek, stamping one's passport and fleeing to haunts unknown as absurd.

The aforementioned quote of Ms. Pichler, the architect by training, seems to imagine the bag as renting space in a globalized trailer park - with motor eva running.  Yo, 'twill be lil' surprise to ye that one's preferred architectural design is Barcelona's take on the Art Nouveau movement - as expressed best thru Gaudí: 
© Creative Commons 2.5
'Façade' of Casa Batlló
One will confirm this penchant after actual perusal in person - like one's anticipated début twirl in the QUEORK headquarters.  For interior décor, one tends to Pisa lean towards Hollywood-Regency-meets-French-Country-émigré-toile-that-demurely-flirts-with-POSTkitch.  Irreverent refinement...or sum'in like.   

Antoni Gaudí left the world his orgasmically celestial Sagrada Família - not to be completed until a century after his death.  Picasso - ironically enuf, Gaudí's fellow Spaniard - was rather well-endowed with a fetish for découpagin' mutant nipples.  Pablo Picasso managed to ravish XX chromo breast tissue along with 'The' African mask's aestheticism.  Left brah blue - for a period.  

There be dissOrientalism.  And then there be the damned:

One still finds oneself in the early stages of recovery from said 'cubed' cultural plundering and therefo' remains challenged to reclaim one's own imagined heritage.  One wonders if Other-ed Ethnic taste is subliminally sentenced to a statelessness beyond the requisite transitory forms of fashion.  Neitha pre nor post.  One writes of that inegmatic "rebirthed cool", a cutting edge, quantum suspended prescience necessitated by survival in some absurdist zeitgeist where H2Omeloncholy Prohibition beacons speakeasies to flow - eroticizing the exploitation of exotic spiked juice from forebodden fruit.

Above all else, one admires but mo' so, finds a style respite in spaces organically adorned with yon inhabitant's travels - as if wallpapered with dog-eared pages from their own exaggerated journals - writ on some border-crossed train.  'Tis an effective affective illusion: how carpetbaggin' tourism can carpe diem.

Can a handbag serve, daresay, swing, as artistic commentary on the commerce of ecology of our chosen 'luggage'?  Further, one is choosing to 'arm' oneself with an accessorized attempt at getting some half-melon handle on what does/should symbolize status.  Plus, my good, peops?  One will remind oneself - daily - to pop Life's cork, i. e., stop short to smell da roses or swirl n' sniff the melon.


Prefer thy present to post reflections but hey, one shall take what thou art generous enuf to bestow.  The comment section would be honored to be graced with such esteemed presence.  We await...And by 'we'?  One means H2Omeloncholic moi and her 'Granny'...'Elder Statesman'...'Elder Statement' bag.

Michelle Pfeiffer in The Fabulous Baker Boys, 1989

* Jo Dunlap's site, Australian fashion blogger living in Freetown, Sierra Leone:    

a clever as compassionate critique
on the implausibility of

Til our next 'post', feast upon produce in season...

© 2014 KM Fikes 
© 2014 
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from KM Fikes is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KM Fikes & with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  No excerpt or link may be used for monetary compensation.