Friday, August 16, 2013

annie's haul

VOGUE copyright Conde Nast
© 2013
© 2013 KM Fikes
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from KM Fikes is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KM Fikes & with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  No excerpt or link may be used for monetary compensation.
© Rollins/Joffe, United Artists
Diane Keaton and Woody Allen in Annie Hall,1977

Annie Oakley Oprah.  Any half-melon excuse to sneak in Ms. Keaton's epic moment of idiosyncratic androgyny - that worked it.  And how.  Ah...those Seventies - an age that almost kept It real.  The lure of labels began to creep from the ambiguity that had made street style a quasi-exercise in egalitarianism.  Lil' wonder that the bagdacity of the Birkin would debut in the mid-Eighties.  The prior decade, howeva?  Halston wares remained velvet-roped off - glimpsed occasionally in Studio 54 publicity stills or cast as a blip of an extra, Friday nights aboard The Love Boat, sachaying towards the Captain's table.  

Notably, a handbag seemed incidental; the gloves were off:

Paparazzo, Ron Galella's Windswept Jackie - 10.03.71

On Oprah Winfrey's 'haul' or lack thereof?  Motha F---in' Snakes on this Motha F---in' Plane, regretfully, already referenced her 2005 H2Omeloncholic episode outside the illustrious window of the Parisian Hermès boutique.

Wasn't enuf.  Not to be outPOSTdone - the Noble Laureate, EU, sought to reinforce H2Omeloncholy™ with none otha than the lay-back-libre customer service associated more with its Nordic neighbors.  In the spirit of six degrees of discrimination, 'neutral' Switzerland is closer to Denmark than France.  Hamlet was the Original Gangsta o' melancholic Danes.  You do the math - or earn the miles.

Fo'sooth, once was more than enuf for one.  This blog seeks invention far mo' imaginative.  Count the kid H2Oweary.  Yawning, one shall concede - gratefully - to NPR's Code Switch - public media's limb on the H2Omeloncholy family tree (o-tay, leaf on the melon vine but that ain't - yet - as automatic to our metaphoric recall).
Talk to the hand...bag.  Or need we draw breath?  Strollin' down the lane, that purse we swing reads us - saying more to the world about character than any classic literature deemed Of The canon.  One writes of a society's 'character', not that of the individual who rises above label to 'do you' - lighter.  Holding intimate, daily essentials like licensed identity can make quite the diff 'twixt an Eastern state's stopped frisk or Southern state's disenfranchised vote.  Would that the skinned walls of a purse were more transparent than a scant cue to status.  Culture...d survival kits tuck under 'arms' - wherever one may roam.

"May roam"...or is allowed to do so...

To review: Oprah von-multi-billionaire Winfrey is denied the privilege - in 2005 - to ascend the throne of entrance into a Parisian 'establishment'.  In the dogged days of 2013's summer, she was banned from even a tactile experience - to so much as brush up against - a luxury 'good' in Zurich.  Should one mention how her misdissadventure or Pretty Woman nod, in yet another salon, occurred upon Swiss visitation via Tina Turner's wedding?  Check it: not one but two of XX chromo, adorned-class, Other-ed Ethnic celebritdom - down to the toes of their presumed, ripe melon-red 'soles'.
300,000 yen or $3,800 USD, Densuke watermelon

Creative Commons licenced images

Please consider the esteamed Trane as your musical accompaniment for the next three paragraphs and interspersed quotes:

Hot debatabley, a pioneer of on-air altruism, Ms. Winfrey perfected the art of the present - wrapped in a bow beneath the seat of each audience member.  Granted, such hyper-publicized, charitable displays amount to an ultimate advertising coup for respective cooperations supplying the 'good'.  Does such material acquisition - even complimentary - further confirm citizen as consumer?

Regardless, Ms. Winfrey has consistently articulated her intent: to encourage her audience, the girls of her South African leadership academy - and beyond - "to live one's best life."  Thought leaders well populate the Sunday line-up of cable's OWN 'channel'.  Here, one finds our host most generous in sum'in particular - her genuine engagement in profound conversation.  Ms. Winfrey's enthusiasm for topics of existential uplift strikes a note of sincerity held long - and straight thru the commercial breaks with features such as Soul Pancake and Breathing Space.  Neither are advertisements.  Although they need not be essentialized in a blog:

The meditation will be televised (with apologies to Gil Scott-Heron).

Although Ms. Winfrey, justifiably, oft references the books that introduced her to their forward philosophies, the programming strikes a nigh-PBS tone where enlightenment appears to be the impetus.  Think: Charlie Rose at an ashram but minus his oak table in favor of a tufted ottoman.  With her professed goal for giving in mind, shall we not quote a memorable moment from Ms. Winfrey's former show - prior to her own network?  To an audience comprised solely of teachers with transportation issues, she trumpeted the following:

"You get a car; you get a car!  Ev-ry-bo-dy gets a car!"  

Can't a sistah getta purse?

Contrarily, a popular book of quite another ilk, Bringing Home the Birkin (2008), is the entertaining, biographical account of Michael Tonello.  The author is apparently constructed as a former hair dresser who reinvents himself as some Go-Lightly-Gatsby.  He industriously globe trots from Hermès boutique to Hermès boutique.  In a theatrical subversive snub of the one-Birkin-per-customer statute, Mr. Tonello ships the elite surplus to his Floridian fam to be later dispatched on e-bay.  Flipping.  That bubble done burst yet 'twas a term applicable to the housing market.  Why not flip haute couture?

First 'up'?  A H2Omeloncholic tip of my Annie Hall fedora to Mr. Tonello.  Lucrative absurdity reveals societal values.  This Birkin broker has demonstrated an initiative to rival the founding brush strokes of movements - surrealist or abstract.  Nevadaless, his cozy tête-à-têtes with Hermès, compared to Lady O's diss-es?  Oy vey, homez!  For Other-ed Ethnics, only the protagonist of Six Degrees of Separation has accomplished the upward mobile swindle...on John Guare's stage...flipping a Kandinsky painting.  

Kandinsky, Black Lines,1913     
  chaosOther-ed Ethnic assimilation into the "audacity" of ambition *

Kandinsky, Several Circles,1926
 control =  Dominant Cult's positionality to oblivious preservation of privilege 

In diametrical opposition...In H2Omeloncholy's 'geometrical' Composition, is not Mr. Tonello's capacity for surreal 'reinvention' the exaggerated expression of socio-post-privilege?  Unframed by chaos, he transports blithely thru international, 'terror-secure' airways as an unauthorized importer of exclusivity.  Neither personal portfolio of a minor country's GDP nor OWNership of a media empire grants automatic access.  Inclusion?  Thy name is Woeful. ** Leaves one melon-gobsmacked and consequently, too dissOriented to keep typing.  Clutching your pearls - too.  Ain't ya? 

Now...where was one?  Just sniffed n' swirled an organic, Oregon Pinot gris.  In need of sum'in lighter, yo - and paler - to counter the weight of H2Omeloncholy
Calm is - marginally - restored.  Still, one shall allow another to extrapolate upon the details.  Since the homezgentry cannot holiday, one sips...
* The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream , title of Barack Obama's 2006 memoir, inspired by Jeremiah Wright's original phrase.

** "Frailty, thy name is woman."  Hamlet, Act I, Scene 2

a clever as compassionate critique
on the implausibility of

Til our next 'post', feast upon produce in season...

© 2013 KM Fikes 
© 2013 
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from KM Fikes is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to KM Fikes & with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.  No excerpt or link may be used for monetary compensation.

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